Sometimes
I wonder who cares...
if it is morning dew on my cheeks
or droplet of joy or a bit of gloom...
Sometimes I hide my tears.
Because I know no one cares.
and sometimes I laugh
'cause I don’t want others to laugh at me...
Sometimes I’m quite...
Because I feel my words don’t matter
and that you don’t care if I speak at all...
Sometimes, silence is my shield...
Because I know my words can give away
what has been a secret for ages...
It may embarrass you... sometime
Sometimes... I ache to shout
and I want you to acknowledge my frustration
but I rather break my favorite vase
'cause breaking my shell can make a lot whither...
Sometimes I have to tell you... I'm a woman
but mostly you know
and
know how to use it against me...
I want to remind you sometimes
some kind of pain persists in my heart
but you know that I can bear it
and so you add on your share...
Sometimes I want to tell you
that I have more shades than your eyes can see
that the complex folds of my heart
come with an even more complex mind
That I’m not afraid of the dark or the lightening...
That I can do things better than you...
That I would love to swap place with you
just to know for a day to live without concerns...
Sometimes... I want to tell you i can make a better world...
But
then I realise... You’re too fragile
your ego... your existence
cant bear a rendezvous with my true self...
It hurts to know i have to keep in my shell
so that you can be safe in the world outside...
For the day it breaks
it will break your fragile ego..
.
And in those moments of realisation
I cry a silent tear...
Sometimes you see them
but you mistake it for my weakness
...and as I would lose those games...
Which i played with you as a mother...
Slowing down to let you win that race...
I let you take pride in that ignorance...
Sometimes I feel, in all my lives,
I’ve
been born only as a mother...
