Sometimes...

Sometimes I wonder who cares...

if it is morning dew on my cheeks

or droplet of joy or a bit of gloom...

Sometimes I hide my tears.

Because I know no one cares.

and sometimes I laugh

'cause I don’t want others to laugh at me...

Sometimes I’m quite...

Because I feel my words don’t matter

and that you don’t care if I speak at all...

Sometimes, silence is my shield...

Because I know my words can give away

what has been a secret for ages...

It may embarrass you... sometime

Sometimes... I ache to shout

and I want you to acknowledge my frustration

but I rather break my favorite vase

'cause breaking my shell can make a lot whither...

Sometimes I have to tell you... I'm a woman

but mostly you know 

and know how to use it against me...

I want to remind you sometimes

some kind of pain persists in my heart

but you know that I can bear it

and so you add on your share...

Sometimes I want to tell you

that I have more shades than your eyes can see

that the complex folds of my heart

come with an even more complex mind

That I’m not afraid of the dark or the lightening...

That I can do things better than you...

That I would love to swap place with you

just to know for a day to live without concerns...

Sometimes... I want to tell you i can make a better world...

But then I realise... You’re too fragile

your ego... your existence

cant bear a rendezvous with my true self...

It hurts to know i have to keep in my shell

so that you can be safe in the world outside...

For the day it breaks

it will break your fragile ego..

.

And in those moments of realisation

I cry a silent tear...

Sometimes you see them

but you mistake it for my weakness

...and as I  would lose those games...

Which i played with you as a mother...

Slowing down to let you win that race...

I let you take pride in that ignorance...

Sometimes I feel, in all my lives,

I’ve been born only as a mother...